The History of Emily & Jorge


The opportunity to slay vampires during her days in high school never arose and that of serving as a science officer for a certain organization that (for legal reasons) shall go unnamed, has yet to arrive. It rhymes with Sblarfleet. So Emily makes soap and bath bombs and loves her kids, however exhausting they may be. She once named herself “Tickle Fight Champion of the World.” She made her own championship belt out of stuff from around the house and everything. It cannot be confirmed, of course, that Emily has ever tickled anyone or that such a world championship competition has ever existed. Emily cheats at board games but is otherwise genuine, devoted, and kind. She believes in, and appreciates, the capacity for any individual to do impactful and amazing things and hopes endlessly, with all her heart, that her next leap might finally be the leap home.


Jorge fancies himself a creative force and storyteller but is mostly a rambler of nonsense. He is mostly made up of hair and hails from parts unknown. It's rumored that his beard once held its own in a bar fight against a certain faction of '80's professional wrestlers that shall go unnamed (for legal reasons) while Jorge lay sleeping peacefully and blissfully in distilled spirits' embraced in a booth nearby. These reports, of course, cannot be confirmed. Jorge craves adventure and profound experiences but settles instead for watching shows he's already seen on Netflix and eating too much of things he shouldn't be eating at all. He insists on pointing out the little tins of beef jerky dust that are presented like Copenhagen at every gas station he enters. It never gets old. Rather, it showcases his appreciation for the things in life that are unique and silly and beautiful in their own way. But far more than himself, or than anything else in the world, he loves all the people of Make Out City - his smoking hot wife and two rowdy sons.

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